1. |
||||
|
I felt greatness in my bones and here they are
|
||||
2. |
Come On In
00:45
|
|||
|
You don’t have to hide. You can come here and play
Cuz everybody here is different in a very special way
If you’re looking for the norm you won’t find it here
When everybody’s giving those guidelines disappear
So if you’re timid or think you’re limited
This is the place you heed to find
Arms are open. It’s just what you’ve been hoping for
Come on in. It’s all happening in my mind
You’ll find it wonderful here
Unless you piss me off
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
I’m gonna eat up the past til there’s nothing left
Then I’m gonna take a nap
Gonna get up, go out into your world
And take a gigantic crap
From here on after
You take your orders straight from me
Living verse and chapter
By the future book of history
“In the prison of the future all prisoners will be their own guard”
Cuz I’m a human
Running from my history
Hey, I’m just a human
Please don’t make fun of me
I’m doing the best I can
|
||||
4. |
All Hail the King
01:30
|
|||
|
The mighty king sits in his hall
The lord and master of us all
Surveys his kingdom all around
Sees not a stir. Hears not a sound
No one dare dispute his throne
The law is laid, the deed is done
To prove his subtle mastery
He shouts commands at his TV
All hail the king
Let his praises ring
Only once he left his kingdom clean
To consort with a foreign queen
The foolish queen refused to see
His absolute authority
He did not recognize defeat
He tactfully made his retreat
He swore he never would again
Leave his fine and faithful land
Chorus
No outside threats disturb the king
No doorbells, phones, no warning rings
The trumpets sound, the subjects shout
It’s time to take the garbage out
He takes it out upon the hour
He sweeps the dust as it hits the floor
He keeps his kingdom clean and neat
The war is lost when you admit defeat
|
||||
5. |
Thank You for This Honor
01:03
|
|||
|
As I stride onto the new red carpet
Everybody wants a shot of me
So they point their cameras at the empty space
Where what I was used to be
I’m just a PR construction
Just a walking billboard sign
And if you see me as your model
Your problems are worse than mine
So thank you for this honor
Wish I had time to do my crying bit
But I think my crowning achievement is
My ability to believe my own bullshit
This song is a simple documentary about the trailer for the movie of the musical made from the book about the play based on the true story of the making of the commercial for the reality show
|
||||
6. |
Concrete Mountain
01:12
|
|||
|
I want to build a concrete mountain and paint it the color of rock
With floodlit plastic trees and bushes so it’s beautiful round the clock
Skies wide open for product placement and adjustable waterfalls
And a big self cleaning river, in case nature calls
I want lots of robot antelopes and automated big horn sheep
And rock faces where you change the slopes, some 4 wheelers don’t like it steep
And electronic sensor nets everywhere, if some hummer should take a plunge
And sense-around sound all around with classic corporate grunge
And it will be free for all rich people to enjoy
I just need a country with destitute people to employ
And it’s got to be flat where other mountains and hills are not
A lot like Iraq, after we make that into a parking lot
Free parking for any vehicle that gets less than ten miles per gallon
Come on down
|
||||
7. |
All My People
01:30
|
|||
|
All my people have been with me right along
What don’t kill them always makes them strong
Though some don’t make it, maybe they’re better off dead
To understand it, come on inside my head
First you got your good guys, who are just like me
They wear the white hats and believe in democracy
Then you got your bad guys all dressed in black
They spend their time thinking evil thoughts sometimes they have to be whacked
So my kids must kill them and throw them in a ditch
To protect all of us good guys that Jesus made real rich
God thinks we’re better so he gave us most of the dough
We operate on the principle - if it hurts you, you don’t know
Never doubt me and I’ll take you to the light
May sound crazy but if I say it, it must be right
All my people understand and they all agree
That the truth is confusing unless it is told by me
|
||||
8. |
Production Decree
00:51
|
|||
|
To insure highest quality and safety it is hereby decreed that all human beings will be produced in the central location.
This production will be accomplished by the mega-womb using only pre-approved sperm and eggs
Other methods of production are now unlawful and punishable by imprisonment and death
|
||||
9. |
Rupert
01:12
|
|||
|
Rupert, you better git on in here boy
How many times have I told you about that radio?
Satan, is coming right out of that box
But you’re too young and innocent to know
Everything they say, every song they sing,
Nothing but a great big lie
It’s just bad people trying to control our minds
But, Rupert, honey, don’t be scared
Son, lemme dry your eyes
And maybe one day
Rupert you can be the one
To clean it all up and lead them to the light
And always be fair and balanced, son
Always carry a gun and lean to the right
|
||||
10. |
Hyena
01:39
|
|||
|
I don’t care who gets hurt, y’all
It’s a bad move to get in my way
I change my women like I change my shirt y’all
A hundred lawyers take my pay
And anybody warm can be bought or sold
I don’t worry about no rules or regs
I’ll do anything and I will not get caught
The rich man runs with the poor man’s legs
Hyena, the jungle has a law
Not dog eat dog it’s sue or counter sue
Hyena, if you want tooth and claw
I’ll have you in court until the end of you
Hyena, no cloud in my dark sky
My father taught me all about the fight
Hyena, in the jungle kill or die
Since daddy died it’s all about the night
|
||||
11. |
My One Desire
01:17
|
|||
|
My one desire is to help you all relax
For relaxed people are more contented
And tend not to question my facts
I am funded by a huge consortium of various corporate slash government interests
They have deep pockets and plenty of muscle
And they’ll throw your ass in jail if you protest
So don’t get burned by revolution’s fire
Just play this song for all your friends
Help me realize
My one desire
|
||||
12. |
Let's Take a Moment
00:42
|
|||
13. |
Donald Trump
00:46
|
|||
|
I turn it over in my mind
I think about it all the time
I’ve got to say it lest it sink my soul
Donald Trump is an asshole
My friends all tell me that I’m too nice
Treat people right and you pay the price
That’s why the Donald is my model role
Cuz Donald Trump is an asshole
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
I live deep in the desert. This August heat is dire
If the AC can make it cold enough, I can build a fire
Cuz I’m a sentimental person with capital to burn
I like to sit near the flames with “The Art of War”
And see if there’s anything left to learn
Snowflakes in the desert in August - that’s what I’m dreaming of
Is there nobody left in this lonely world that still cares about love?
Charlie, another mint julep. Frank Jr., come quick and fan
Why am I the only one who can show a caring hand?
Yes, I’m the one with the open heart and I only aim to please
William, get over here and put some salve on my disease
They say I do nothing to help but what about my strike force
And am I not the only man in this desert to build his own golf course?
They can see it clear from the interstate, listen to them complain
That twelve foot electrified fence is only dangerous in the rain
And cuz it never rains I had to drain the aquifer just to fill up my lake
They better build my tower high enough, so my final thirst I can slake
Snowflakes in the desert in August
When my tower is complete
Snowflakes in the desert in August
Frank Jr., come rub my feet
|
||||
15. |
Calling All Whores
01:08
|
|||
|
I can see you want it all. I can see you want it now
Let’s make a little deal. Let me show you how
I don’t want your body just your mind and your soul
You can give me everything be under my control
Calling all whores or whores in training
Calling all whores outside it’s raining
Calling all whores. I can give you protection
Calling all whores. It’s time to make the connection
I can see you’re hungry. I’ll take you up another rung
Just wrap your little mind around my duplicitous tongue
|
||||
16. |
Cocktail Dog Fight
01:30
|
|||
|
Incredibly beautiful female, six o’clock. Unaccompanied. Approach. Conversation excellent. Sky is clear
Incredibly beautiful female appears to be responding well. Objective in sight
Danger, three o’clock. Drunk hostile male approaching at great speed
Drunk hostile male males surprisingly intelligent and coherent comments
Incredibly beautiful female appears to be responding. Mission in jeopardy. Mission in jeopardy
Necessary to engage target. Let flow a barrage of clever scintillating comments
Drunk hostile male stumbles off into darkness, three o’clock.
Mission momentarily back on track
Nine o’clock. Highly unattractive female approaching
Incredibly beautiful now giggling approvingly at highly unattractive female’s comments
Mission in danger. Mission in danger
Incredibly beautiful female follows highly unattractive female off into darkness, nine o’clock
Abort mission, repeat abort mission
Sky is clear
Twelve o’clock, moderately attractive female
Approach
Mission back on track. Sky is clear
|
||||
17. |
Positive News
01:13
|
|||
|
Put a happy face on the news
Make it fun and light so it’s the favorite news out there
Cover over the subtleties and the ambiguities
Positive news is for everyone to share
The world's not violent
Death is not imminent
Don't be a malcontent
Give us a smile to show you care
You could be president
And fix the government
Or start wars for gain and spite
And wipe your butt with the bill or rights
Do we just sit on our butts while psychopaths piss on everything fair
Daddy will take care of everything. Daddy is a millionaire
Positive news is for everyone to share
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
Let us take a moment westward we will face
And bow down to the setting sun, to the marketplace
Put one hand upon your head and one on your wallet or purse
and try to visualize an imaginary world where the numbers won't get worse
God is in the numbers
Let's bring him to the fore
and as the sun sinks out of sight
say buy, buy, buy, and then buy some more
|
||||
19. |
New World Football
00:50
|
|||
|
Think about how much shorter, how much more exciting
All of our pro football games could be
If we got rid of the ball, got rid of the goal lines
And got rid of all them pesky referees
We could give automatic weapons to the linemen
Put mortars in the backfield
And bazookas for every player’s wife
Then we’d all be part of the action
And when you bet on your favorite faction
You wouldn’t be betting your money, you’d be betting your life
Of course we would need special protection
You know, for the cameras and the sports casters
And all the important network execs
It could become the new world fad
Make you feel like a Baghdad mom and dad
Hell, it might be better than sex
Well, think about it
|
||||
20. |
We Are the Government
01:21
|
|||
|
We’re here to let you know that you are in our space
Everything got to go. You’ll have to find a new life . You’ll have to find a new place
Take your legacy and your name. Don’t make us call out swat
You grandpa ought to be ashamed cuz he built his home in the future wal-mart parking lot
We are the government. We’d like to think we’re here to help
We are the government. We are the people you’re somebody else
You ain’t done nothing wrong. That’s why there ain’t no fine
One family can only own a home so long. And a hundred years is eternity in corporate time
We are the government. Did we make our position clear?
We are the government. We want you out by the end of the year
We are the government. So what’s a few more refugees?
We are the government. We’re keeping the company free
Country free, company free, whatever
|
||||
21. |
||||
|
People are simple and corrupt
But god in his wisdom fixed that up
You don’t have to worry bout what you’re missing
That you ain’t got a pot to piss in
That you ride the bus and I drive a Cadillac
Cuz you know your preacher’s got you back
If it’s Washington where I need to get
I can get here quick in my corporate jet
Cuz it’s an eye for an eye tooth for a tooth
Them eye doctors and dentists are speaking the truth
The death penalty’s good, abortion is bad
Don’t give one the chance the other never had
If you could see the faces that don’t grow up
You’d know there’s places you need to blow up
So won’t you join us and sing our song
A hundred thousand can’t be wrong
I wish you could talk to God direct, but he ain’t home
He’s out in the desert hiding dinosaur bones
To get the good word you need a good teacher
And that’s why God made me your preacher
|
||||
22. |
You Can Make It Happen
01:03
|
|||
|
I finally found myself a life quest
And I work on it shine or rain
One part involves how bad I can smell
The other part how much weight I can gain
And luckily both involve consumption
Of vast quantities of beer
If you set yourself a goal and hold on to your dream
You fears just disappear
Well maybe they don’t disappear
But at least they’re held in check
Until you finally achieve the status of
Total mental and physical wreck
So don’t let nobody tell ya
That you can’t have it all too
Yes, even you can be your own toilet
If you try you can make it happen
To you
|
||||
23. |
||||
|
We come before the oh Lord at the beginning of the fiscal year asking you to help us keep everything in perspective and stand as a mighty beacon for us in these dark times whatever bla bla bla. If you can't handle that at least help us to keep the bureaucracy together help us to keep the money rolling in otherwise, how are we going to build expensive new churches and how are we going to distinguish our brand.. Help us, oh Lord, to keep everything simple but not so simple that it makes us look like fools. And if we do look like fools at least don't let us look like fools to the major contributors. Help us to remember that the organization comes first, and that nothing is possible if we don't maintain or improve this level of existence financially. Help us remember that money is the root of all evil, but unfortunately you have to pay to play. Give our humble parishioners the wisdom to prevail in their time of great struggle, but not so much wisdom that they won't give a large percentage of their income to us. And remember, oh Lord that we made a deal many years ago, and for you to back out now, could mean that things might not go that well for you either. Wait a minute lord, please don't construe those words as a threat, but let's cut to the chase, if we don't open these bozos' wallets somebody around here is going to have to get a real job. In your holy name we pray. Amen
|
||||
24. |
||||
|
War is always good for bidness, isn't it
Helping us with our fiscal fitness, isn't it
The military industrial complex ain't mean
When you're too poor to eat you start to get lean
Keep saving it up for our favorite machine, pyramidin' it
CEO's say - Don't let the war stop
Idle guns are the devil's workshop
Every day let bombs burst in the air
To remind us our flag is still there
Now every day's the Fourth of July, isn't it?
Just try to keep your paranoia dialed up super high
Foes come and go so keep your powder pure
With a war always on, you always feel secure
War will give you meaning, direction to your soul
Peace ain't nothing but a big black hole
Boring as a graveyard
|
||||
25. |
Stop These Maniacs
01:57
|
|||
|
Some of the radicals around here seem to believe
That just because the workers of our town government are paid for by corporate sponsorship
We make our decisions based on the corporations’ best interest
This is ridiculous
Things have always been this way, the corporations were here first,
And everything we do is based on a healthy relationship
Between government and big business
Can you believe that these extremists want to discontinue
Our local dentists long standing policy of etching corporate logos on our children’s teeth?
And they want to remove the facial logo tattoos many of us already have
They say our Wal-mart manager should no longer be able to
Chair our town council meetings and perform all our marriages
This is blasphemy
My God, they plan to close down Exxon times
How are we gonna get our news?
Next they will be dismantling the oil refineries in our very front yards
This is outrageous
We will be crippled by the huge cost of the extraction of our inner ear balance adjusters
Not to mention that of the demolition of the central transmitter that broadcasts our balance instructions
How will we keep our spirits high without our corporate enthusiasm DNA enhancers?
And what kind of sick misguided society will this be without our subliminal sleep instructors?
Can you imagine how we will limit the spread of radical propaganda without the psychic white noise generators on our church steeples?
We must not allow these radicals to propagate the dangerous myth that the power to solve our own problems exists within ourselves
This will destroy our economy
And more to the point – What are the hard working officials of the town going to do without our corporate supplemental stipends?
Let’s just call this thing what it is
It’s a communist conspiracy to bring down the most prominent citizens of our town
This cannot be allowed to stand
Desperate measures are now called for
We must act now to stop these maniacs
|
||||
26. |
||||
|
The dipper sails around the North Star
Just like the hands of a clock
The moon goes full and disappears
Just like breathing in and breathing out
The ozone at the poles burns up
While down below the ice sheets melt
The ocean’s gonna rise twenty feet
So don’t you be the ones left out
Beachfront property in Arizona
I know it sounds too good to be true
Now you won’t have to adapt to ocean floor living
Can’t you hear the desert calling you
And if you heed the call you can have it all
And all for a ridiculously low down payment
|
||||
27. |
Famous People
00:53
|
|||
|
Everybody knows that the famous people are different from you and me
But how many of you understand that none of them ever have to pee?
And every one of them have to be in the secret society
That’s run by the queen and Don and Larry King
Cause the famous people are the children of God
And the rest of us are in the cheerleading squad
The most dangerous ones used to be famous but they ain’t famous no more
So if one of them knocks don’t you open your door
Unless you want to be bored to tears with their stories of days of yore
|
||||
28. |
||||
|
You should never use the ‘N’ word
It’s derogatory and obscene
The problem is when you use the word “the ‘N’ Word” instead of the “N” word
Everybody knows what word you mean
So the best thing to do is use this word
“the word formally know as the word “the ‘n’ word””
And when you use the word “the word formally known as the word “the ‘N’ word””
Nobody gets hurt
And everything stays all clear and clean
|
||||
29. |
I'm Sorry
01:10
|
|||
|
I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life
And here I’ve just done another one
And I’m probably going to do some more
Cut. Take two
I’ve do a lot of bad things in my life
And here I’ve just done another one
I just need to tell somebody how sorry I am
My career is in the toilet
And I’m hoping this will give it some juice
Cut. Take three
I’ve do a lot of bad things in my life
And here I’ve just done another one
I just need to tell somebody how sorry I am
So to each of you out there, if I’ve hurt you in any way, I just want to say – I’m so damn sorry
Please, forgive me
Cut. Print
|
||||
30. |
Downsize
00:56
|
|||
|
Your mom and I have found it necessary to call you in this morning because we’ve just completed and inventory or active family members,
and in doing so we reviewed every member’s quarterly performance report and we’re sorry to have to inform you that the family’s going to have to downsize and we’re going to have to let you go.
You shouldn’t take this personally, however, because, essentially, it is an inventory problem, and after seven years you certainly understand the concept of the bottom line, so we won’t have to review that.
Right now we’d like to take this opportunity to present you with this commemorative stainless steel spoon and to assure you that you will be allowed two full days to remove any non-family-purchased or personal items and vacate your room. If you wish you can place ads in parenting magazines in the event that you desire to seek an offspring position with a new family.
Unfortunately, we cannot give you a personal recommendation, but we do wish you well. If you desire access to your quarterly report, submit a request in writing at your earliest possible convenience. And thank you for your service.
|
||||
31. |
||||
|
As y’all know Miss Prunella Tree is world famous
Around her I was like a little child
She said I was so innocent and she loved me
We stayed together a little while
My first big shock was to hear her in the bathroom
I never knowed famous folks needed help to go
Then she come out with a powder covered cowboy
Hee haw and the Opry never let me know
When I found her with the football team she said she loved me
But she said she had to be as free as a bird
Miss Prunella said she put the tree in country
But she put in the other part of the word
|
||||
32. |
Downtown Bar Barian
02:43
|
|||
|
Where you from, baby? I said - Where you from? Oh, won’t talk, ay
Hey, you think you can just turn your back on me and walk away?
Well, I’m gonna be in charge around here some day
Then there’s gonna be hell for you to pay
Yeah, there’s gonna be a missile with your name on it, mama
Heading straight for your home town, whereever that is
Just so you won’t forget my face the next time I come around
Millions and millions are gonna have to die
And you don’t even have the common decency to find out why
His mama used to lock him in the closet
Daddy wasn’t there to say no
He was there for his midnight deposit
Then he got the bad news and it was time to go
Just how many are going to have to end up dead
To make you listen, baby, to make you turn your head
Don’t you know you’re dealing with the skyscraper here mama,
The titan, the big gun, the moon rocket?
Not some geek with a pencil in his pocket
Maybe you don’t think I’m man enough for you, baby
Maybe you’re thinking you can just give me some of your lip
But when I’m in charge I’m gonna fill the whole Grand Canyon
To the brim with Reddi-wip
And put a cherry on top big as the superdome
So come on, baby, let’s go home
Chorus
And in a million years, baby, the space aliens will send their apostles
And they’ll want to know what great force blew the human race back to fossils
That’s when my grave at the top of the heap
Will beckon them higher and higher with its mysterious drone
And they’ll stand in awed silence thinking it must have taken one hell of a man to accomplish this much alone
And they’ll take of their space hats, baby
As they read the words on my stone
Chorus
|
||||
33. |
Dead from the Neck Up
01:14
|
|||
|
I got nothing to say
But I say it so fine
I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m making good time
I can make you so happy
That’s a guarantee
You’ll never have to worry
Cuz you’ll be just like me
Dead, dead, dead from the neck up
All my claws are clean
My fangs are blinding white
Plumage to a T
In the jungle tonight
In a moment of truth
I lay myself bare
Check my image in the mirror
There is nothing there
|
||||
34. |
The History of the World
00:54
|
|||
|
We’ve seen our share of heartaches
But by George we made it through
And we’ve seen some extremely distressing situations
But by George we made it through
And sometimes we remember the history of the world
And when we do it makes us feel so mellow
|
||||
Richard Haxton Los Angeles, California
From the middle of Mississippi, served in Viet Nam in Thailand, lives 5,000 feet from the world's oldest freeway. Searches for transcendence - or something - where science meets the spirit. Never quit fighting the war for the groove!
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